Friday, December 31, 2004

So I wrote this last night, on reflection about the perils of last minute Christmas shopping, something I endeavour to avoid at all costs!
I guess it could still be called The Night Before Christmas...


'Twas the night before shopping and all through the Mall
Not a pricetag was dropping, no, not at all.
The tinsel was hung in the window with care
In the hopes that small children soon would be there.

Cunning wrought toys of the Latest Sensation
Candy treats dripping with sugar temptation
Then Mum with her purse, and Dad with his cheque,
would be dragged in by offspring giving them heck

"I wanna! I needa! But all my friends have!"
Demands would ring out as folk hid in the Lav'
(Or the Loo or the Toilet, your country depending
Either which way the cries never were ending)

But sooner or later they had to come out
These parents whose children commanded such clout
Over hard-worked year's wages - "We have to get this!"
And soon it was bought, to get one moment's bliss

But nagging thoughts floated and soon it was "Honey,
It's perfect for Parents! Where is the money?"
Or "What a fine toolbox - just look at it, Dear!"
("But what of the one that I gave you last year?")

"This Bracelet!" " These Movies!" "That Playstation game!"
"Should we get something for - oh -Whatsisname?"
"Look! - Pink for the girls, and Blue for the boys!"
"Lordy, I'm sick of the constant shop noise"

(A made-over song from an old Christmas classic
By a popstar whose presence was no more than plastic)
The non-stop carolling of tone-deaf small children
In every shop, of every buildin'

All from a CD on top of the charts!
Enough to see music divorced from the arts.
Some earplugs right now, would be rather handy
And block out the "wanna haves" too, oh so dandy!

See the time slide away, whistling by,
Traincrashing trolleys, their contents piled high
So, battered and broken, one reaches the till,
With enough "Christmas Cheer" to make everyone ill...

O Last minute bargains! O festive fights!
The tripping of people on Christmas tree lights
The caught-out store "Santa" bereft of his beard
The multiple Clauses (which are kinda weird!)

Enough to make shoppers feel they are on drugs...
(What ever happened to givings of hugs?)
But one cannot box that - silly plan, so forget it!
Speaking of wrapping - need some for that present..

You buy the whole works, paper, ribbons and crepe,
(But when you get home, there'll be no sellotape)
The car is now missing, gone without trace
It's parked somewhere probably in outer space

Then finally you see it, in a gap far away
And you're glad that tomorrow will be Christmas Day
Your feet are just nubs, and your eyeballs are popping
Hooray for the end of this year's Xmas shopping

Tomorrow the children will wake you at dawn
And soon half their gifts will be lost in the lawn
But in 365 days, it all starts again...
So, see you next year! - Merry Christmas, My Friend.

Happy Holidays, New Years, and whatchamacallits, everyone! ~K.

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