Thursday, November 06, 2003

Go Juzzza he rock! (Perhaps literally!)
Dude, update your blog :)

Yes, it is true, blogs are hard work.
Think of the pain and suffering and tea-breaks that go into making these little windows onto human lives.

Today's thought.
Suppose... just suppose.. your computer were sentient. (No, no. No, they are not sentient weirdo, sit down.)
If they were, they would have the lowest self esteem of anything on the planet.
Why? Simple!
How many times have you told your computer you love it? How many times have you praised it, or corrected its little mistakes and blue screens with a gentle "never mind, it's all part of life"?
Not many, I bet.

No, if my workplace is anything to go by, these sensitive creatures are subject to tremendous amounts of abuse. Belting the harddrive - and I'm not talking a gentle but firm parental smack, I mean full on fist-flinging abuse!
And the swearing. Do you realise if your machine could hear the number of times you called it "Stupid Effing Machine!!", it would grow to believe it was useless.

Ten years down the track, in dusty warehouses, obsolete machines sit in circles, with "hello, my hardrive is..." stickers on, crying over cups of tea in support systems groups.

Oh the torment, the guilt, the self loathing.
Love your bluescreen. It's your computer having an attack of empathy with the great unconscious.

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